Thoughts From the Dirty City

No, I’m not talking about the star. I’m referring to satellite radio.

A few years ago I was commuting from Akron to Cleveland every day for work. When you are in the car for hour long stretches (some days longer) twice a day the radio can get tedious. It wasn’t even the commercials…it was just hearing the same ten songs over and over and over again. Even switching stations didn’t satisfy the need for something new to occupy me on the drive. So I turned to Howard Stern, who at least had something different to say each time I tuned in. It became a part of my routine.

Then all hell broke loose and satellite radio stole my morning tradition. Howard Stern left regular radio and went to satellite where he could do his thing unfiltered and untamed.  Thankfully I have an amazing friend who hooked me up with one of the funky new radios so I never skipped a beat. My morning commute continued on with even more entertainment than I had anticipated.

I fell in love with satelite radio pretty much instantly. The endless channels, including Discovery, Comedy and more music than you could ever hope for kept me more than satisfied during even the busiest of rush hours.  I was hooked and a die hard fan. Nothing could ever convince me to go back to regular radio. Or so I thought.

Fast forward a few years, and obviously much has changed in my life. Including eliminating the dreaded commute to the 216 everyday. I still spend a decent amount of time in my car, but nothing compared to those days. More and more I found myself defaulting to the standard hits channels and oldies channels on my Sirius. I just wasn’t around it long enough to go hunting for interesting programing on some of the more obscure channels.

Things on Sirius were changing too. They merged with XM radio with the promise of more channels and more entertainment. This came with a small hike in my monthly subscription fee. I persisted, but still noticed I wasn’t listening to any wider range than I had been the past few months. I went back and forth on wether or not to cancel my subscription. There is a lot of talk on Sirius programing about how terrible regular radio is with all its commercials and limited content. It gets in your head after a while.

But after realizing I still wasn’t really using the subscription to its full potential I decided the monthly fee of satellite radio just wasn’t worth it for my current situation. So yesterday morning I canceled my account. For the past two days I have been left to the wilds of regular radio. I have to say, it aint half bad! Yeah, there are commercials and the music choices are more limited. But I haven’t had any moments where I was just plain miserable and missing my old system.

Only time will tell if I will truly regret giving up on satellite radio. But for now I’m completely fine with the free waves being pumped through the speakers.

It does make me wonder though. How many other things in my life have I convinced myself are essential that are, in reality, completely expendable? Perhaps it’s time to start paying more attention. Who knows what else I could cut out and never miss.

On a side note, I realised something on the drive home today. One amazingly fantastic thing about regular radio is the local traffic and weather reports. I completely forgot about those! Yes, the satellite radio had a traffic and a weather station. Like I EVER tuned in to those.  Having someone just offer up that info every now and again regardless of what you are listening to is damn handy!

So, it’s been a while.

What can I say? Spring came and brought with it all kinds of stress and to-do lists. It also brought with it a sickness that leveled me for, what seemed like, an eternity. Once the plague had cleared up I was left with absolutely no desire to be a functioning member of society.  I got up, went to work (most days anyway) drove home and proceeded to sink into a fog. Honestly, I can’t tell you a single thing that I accomplished in May (and most of June). The entire month(s) came and went without me noticing.

Don’t get the wrong idea. It’s not like I was depressed or having some sort of emotional or mental collapse. It’s like I got really tired and nothing I did gave me any energy. I feel like I only partially woke up in the mornings. Slowly but surely the fog is clearing and more often than not I am feeling more inspired (or at least awake.)

I’ve started a new weight loss and exercise  program. I want to get to a place mentally and physically that will make me feel better in my own skin. I fear this is a never ending battle. One that I try not to focus on too much as the more I focus on it, the more insane it makes me. But I’m excited about the progress and general optimism I feel. I know that the biggest battle is in my head and with my own willpower to make the changes that need making.  Right now, I’m feeling good about the new insights and tools I’ve gathered to inspire me…so I’m going to roll with that.

I’m still not as inspired about some of the side projects I started in late winter. I think weather has a lot to do with that. An apartment without an air conditioner is not a prime place to bake in the middle of June.  But a shiny new fan with the power of three jet engines is helping…and I’m not giving up on the idea. Just slowing down a bit while the weather makes sticking my head in the freezer a more viable option than sticking a cake in the oven.

I’m not sure what shifted to suck the energy out of me last month. Or conversly, what has shifted to start pushing the energy scales in the other direction.  Feeling lazy and lifeless isn’t a good feeling though. And I’m doing what I can to avoid getting back to that point.

As the crazy evangelical dude from television you should never admit to watching said “Don’t just sit there. DOOOOOO something!”
(My brother and sister may be the only other people on the planet that will get the reference.)

I guess this is a warning of sorts. Prepare for a lot more blog posts about nothing as I cling to the idea that writing about nothing will inspire me to do something.

Very much looking forward to the McQueen show!!