Thoughts from the Dirty City

Most people get an itch to dust out the old and make room for the new around spring time. Makes sense. Windows have been closed for months and the long winter months give everything a packed away feel. This year, I couldn’t wait for spring and the gutting of closets and sorting of old stuffs has been consuming my evenings all week. Perhaps it was the onset of fashion week, or the shift the weather has taken, promising an end to summer and the arrival of fall. Fall always inspires me to do extremely random things. Wherever the inspiration came from I have been riding the roller coaster for days.

The first target, my closet. I have a tendancy to front load all my projects, putting the toughest tasks first whenever possible. Usually sorting through old clothes and tossing stuff I don’t (or shouldn’t) wear anymore is fun for me. Letting go of stuff isn’t fun. Finding those long forgotten gems in the back burried under all  the dress shirts I long since stopped wearing more than makes up for it though. This year I knew it would be a bit more difficult. The closet was going to be my biggest struggle. As compared to my usual heartache over the thought of giving up bags I know I will never cary again or shoes I will never wear again.

A bit of background. For the past year or so I have been working hard to make big changes in my life. Changes that include regular visits to the gym and a diet that doesn’t include things that come out of vending machines or drive throughs. Now, I’m not complaing about feeling better about the way I look, or having extra energy. What is hard is that the changes have come very slowly, and are still coming. I haven’t come close to achieving my goals  and the effects of the change are slow. I can live with that. What is hard is dealing with a wardrobe that no longer fits me. I would love to just toss  everything and go out and buy a whole new wardrobe today…but that aint happening. One, I can’t afford it. And two, why do that when I know in six months the clothes I buy today will need replacing.

I kinda new all this when I started this endeavor. I just don’t think I was really prepaired to deal with it all at once, shirt after shirt after shirt. After about an hour I was ready to shove everything back into my closet and pretend I had never started this little endeavor. So I did what I always do in such times. I called a friend to whine and feel sorry for myself. Also, because I knew they would be able to get me out of the funk fog and back into reality. The changes are happening slowly, both in my life and with my body. The changes in my closet are going to happen just as slowly. Little by little new and better fitting things will work their way in while old unnaceptable stuff will makes its way out. Eventually it will all even out when I do.

It took several more hours to sift through everything in there. At the end I did find a few things that I had forgotten about and got a ton of ideas about ways to mix things up to make more use of them. Boosting my moral that all is not lost. After that I hit my dressers. Aside from the sweaters it was a snap. Letting go of a t-shirt I was never all that fond of is somehow a ton easier. Ditto for sweat pants (all but one pair gone now btw). When it was all said and done I had two very full bags of clothing no longer suitable for me all ready for donation. Now about the shoes and bags…haven’t I suffered enough?! They all stay